It’s been one year since T and I got married in a frivolous ceremony officiated by Darth Vader and it’s been 14 months since I’ve been living permanently in the US.
Things are still going strong despite lots of initial doubts from friends and family. We met on OKCupid and I don’t see any shame in letting anyone know that even if people gave me a lot of flak for giving up my career and getting married so quickly into the relationship (he proposed 4 days after we met in person and we got married 6 months after that). I think that the trick to maximizing your success rate with dating is to be as honest as you can from the get-go (bare faced, uninhibited bodily functions and what nots) and instead of waiting for things to happen. You will know when someone is out of your league or obviously not your type, you really don’t want to go into it thinking either one of you will change for the other.
T and I turned to Internet dating because we just weren’t getting any luck meeting the right people. We knew what we were looking for after actively trying to find a partner for years. On OKCupid, we answered a lot of personal and lifestyle questions (hundreds) that were presented on the site and with the science of computation and algorithm matching (Did I say that right?), we gave it a shot in real life and it worked.
I knew that a Saturday night with him wasn’t going to be painting the town red and there will be no Sunday flea markets to stroll through. I knew that he wasn’t going to care if I didn’t want to touch raw flesh and cook him a steak dinner or he wasn’t going to make me hang out at pubs drinking beer. We are dog people and we want children if we can. It really saved us a lot of time and grief because we already had a similar outlook on life (over 90% match, yo)!
T is still the man I married (you’d be surprised how many people change within months of living together) and I’m in exactly the kind of relationship I’ve always wanted even though we are less than perfect human beings. Let’s be honest, we met in our mid-30s and with life experience, comes personal baggage – but hey! We’re a-okay!
My husband is a strange bedfellow who’d wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me his weird dreams or to look out the window to see a blood moon at 3am. He’d ask for permission to fart in bed – no permission needed, totally cool anytime as long as it’s not upwind towards my nasal region. Once I told him I was scared and didn’t like the weird howling sounds from the thunder storms while I was reading in bed and he ran all the way, booming steps and all, down the stairs from the 3rd floor office to our bedroom on the ground floor. Then jumped into bed, only to be bounced off onto the floor by the mattress springs and then jump back in immediately to give me a hug. The howling (read: hysterical laughing) for the next 5 minutes came from me – the hilarity of the situation is only signature of T’s behaviour.
This year has been especially emotionally, physically and financially challenging for the both of us but we’re coping and while I miss my friends, family and the most perfect job I had in the world, I would give it all up again for what I have now. It’s defies logic but matters of the heart are illogical to begin with.
Taking a chance on a whirlwind romance, the risk and excitement of it all! We’ve got a good story to start! So far so good right?