An Exercise In Trivial Pursuits

Fatshion, Food & Frivolities – Life in Las Vegas & Singapore


2 Comments

My 1st Wedding Anniversary

It’s been one year since T and I got married in a frivolous ceremony officiated by Darth Vader and it’s been 14 months since I’ve been living permanently in the US.

IMG_8660

Things are still going strong despite lots of initial doubts from friends and family. We met on OKCupid and I don’t see any shame in letting anyone know that even if people gave me a lot of flak for giving up my career and getting married so quickly into the relationship (he proposed 4 days after we met in person and we got married 6 months after that). I think that the trick to maximizing your success rate with dating is to be as honest as you can from the get-go (bare faced, uninhibited bodily functions and what nots) and instead of waiting for things to happen. You will know when someone is out of your league or obviously not your type, you really don’t want to go into it thinking either one of you will change for the other.

T and I turned to Internet dating because we just weren’t getting any luck meeting the right people. We knew what we were looking for after actively trying to find a partner for years. On OKCupid, we answered a lot of personal and lifestyle questions (hundreds) that were presented on the site and with the science of computation and algorithm matching (Did I say that right?), we gave it a shot in real life and it worked.

I knew that a Saturday night with him wasn’t going to be painting the town red and there will be no Sunday flea markets to stroll through. I knew that he wasn’t going to care if I didn’t want to touch raw flesh and cook him a steak dinner or he wasn’t going to make me hang out at pubs drinking beer. We are dog people and we want children if we can. It really saved us a lot of time and grief because we already had a similar outlook on life  (over 90% match, yo)!

T is still the man I married (you’d be surprised how many people change within months of living together) and I’m in exactly the kind of relationship I’ve always wanted even though we are less than perfect human beings. Let’s be honest, we met in our mid-30s and with life experience, comes personal baggage – but hey! We’re a-okay!

My husband is a strange bedfellow who’d wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me his weird dreams or to look out the window to see a blood moon at 3am. He’d ask for permission to fart in bed – no permission needed, totally cool anytime as long as it’s not upwind towards my nasal region. Once I told him I was scared and didn’t like the weird howling sounds from the thunder storms while I was reading in bed and he ran all the way, booming steps and all, down the stairs from the 3rd floor office to our bedroom on the ground floor. Then jumped into bed, only to be bounced off onto the floor by the mattress springs and then jump back in immediately to give me a hug. The howling (read: hysterical laughing) for the next 5 minutes came from me – the hilarity of the situation is only signature of T’s behaviour.

This year has been especially emotionally, physically and financially challenging for the both of us but we’re coping and while I miss my friends, family and the most perfect job I had in the world, I would give it all up again for what I have now. It’s defies logic but matters of the heart are illogical to begin with.

Taking a chance on a whirlwind romance, the risk and excitement of it all! We’ve got a good story to start! So far so good right?


7 Comments

Mini House Tour

Obviously I’m not going to tell you where I live or am I going to show you everything – it is the interwebs after all! But I thought I would share some photos I took of our Southwestern-style (by this I mean a lot of wood and browns) house in Las Vegas.

20140507-131434.jpg
So this is the street we live on. These are our neighbours’ houses obviously. It’s a very quiet neighbourhood and we love living in a family-friendly gated community.

20140507-132841.jpg
And this is our unit. It’s quite a generic structure so I’m not afraid to share it. There are so many houses that look like it here. T says this is the Spanish Colonial style. We have a roof deck which we never use – my mum did when she came to visit. She was up there dancing and singing in the mornings. I put out a hammock on our 3rd floor balcony and it’s lovely to lie out there with Max when the weather is not too cold.

20140507-133213.jpg
We have a small but I feel decent sized yard for a family our size. Max is out there most times.

20140507-133344.jpg
And more of that brown, yellow, orange in our bedroom.

20140507-133419.jpg
Even more browns in our 2 guestrooms. We current have 3 full-sized beds (even the bunk beds can sleep 2 persons on each deck). And we’ve had guests every other month since I moved in. It has been so nice!

20140507-133552.jpg
On the same floor as the guest bedrooms (and our laundry room), we have what T says is our bonus room. Apparently that’s what it’s called when he bought the house. As you can see here, it’s our TV space.

20140507-133728.jpg
And here’s the actual living room, and dining space (can’t see from the pictures here) and our open concept kitchen which I love. Other than that, we have a balcony, T’s office and a half-bath (aka powder room) up here on the 3rd floor. Carrying groceries up from the garage is a bitch! Argh! Luckily I have my strongman! Hahahaha… When I’m leaving the supermarket, I always text T to tell him I’m on my way home so he prepares to go meet me in the garage to carry all the stuff up. Then I put them away slowly.

And that’s it. My mini house tour. Unseen spaces are aplenty but I think you get the idea. There’s a lot of space for just 2 people and a dog but we hope that more people will come visit us and most of all, we can populate the house ourselves (if you know what I mean).


4 Comments

Why I married T

Happy Valentines’ Day everyone! T and I don’t really believe that this day should be more special than others when you’re in a relationship. In fact, we were joking about celebrating anti-Valentine’s and robbing a Hallmark store – stealing V-day cards by the truckloads!

I don’t believe that there’s someone for everyone so if you’re alone, I’m sorry life is unfair – hey look, I’m short, fat and struggling to be a housewife. On one hand, I think some people are jerks and deserve to be alone for the rest of their lives. On the other hand, I feel sad that some perfectly kind and gorgeous people unfortunately just seem to have no luck finding love. So if you’re not a jerk, I hope life is kind to you in other ways but don’t give up just yet! And because I know that it’s not a given, I am grateful to have married someone so wonderful.

People get married for all sorts of reasons. My ex-classmate M is married to the same guy she’s been with since we were 14 (and we’re 36 this year)! Some of my friends get married because they think “it’s time” or are pressured into getting married because they’ve been with their partners “long enough”. Another old friend of mine admitted that he settled because he was sick and tired of being in and out of relationships, even though he’s not sure if she’s “the one”. I’ve also had friends who are really decent and smart people but have regretted a bad marriage (or two). Relationships not easy and it takes effort to keep things going even if you’re perfect for each other. There’s always some give and take. While I don’t believe in changing for someone or changing someone after getting together, I think it’s important to understand the need to take turns compromising with your partner. If not, you’re better off alone instead of being in an unhappy relationship.

T and I have rather different personalities – he’s an introvert, I’m an extrovert. I’m willing to try new experiences and am excited to meet new people. He’s shy beyond belief and very uncomfortable in unfamiliar environments . I don’t mind being the butt of jokes sometimes and can pick myself up quickly enough. He still feels the repercussions of growing pains especially of his awkward teenage years. He’s about 5′ 10″ and I’m barely 5′ tall. Then there’re the cultural differences and being on opposite ends of the globe (it takes about 24hrs to fly from Las Vegas to Singapore).

Here’s why he’s great for me – his quiet calm is the perfect foil to my over-enthusiatic nature and keeps me grounded; he’s smart yet not an asshole about it; and I’m sometimes glad he didn’t have many close friends before he met me – I know, I’m terrible. But I have so many people in my inner circle that I’d be torn to spend time with different people otherwise. These days however, I love that we’re making new friends together.

So anyway, to end my long rambling essay, I married T because of 3 solid reasons:

  1. he is a kind and supportive partner who accepts all that I am (even the weird stuff I throw at him)
  2. he wants to hang out with me all the time (except shopping which he hates)
  3. he encourages me to be happy

It doesn’t hurt that I think he’s got a handsome baby face and is a dependable breadwinner. Bonuses on all count!

And because I know that not everyone gets this opportunity, this Valentines’ Day I count my lucky stars and will treasure the gift who is T.


11 Comments

Dear 16 year old self…

dsc_0061

Dear 16-year-old Self,

It’s okay to be fat and have weird rectangular eyebrows – unfortunately you’ll overpluck them in the next few years, yet fortunately in the future, they have this thing called eyebrow embroidery. Your friends now won’t understand the kind of music you listen to, the books you read or the kind of movies you like. But it’s okay, you’ll meet a huge community that does… eventually.

You’ll spend the next half of your life finding yourself and getting into a lot of trouble before finally realising that you’ll only be happy with the standards you set for yourself. It’ll be tough and heart-breakingly so but not impossible.

The best things in life, aren’t things. You’ve never been particularly worried about material wealth because your parents have always given you more than enough. Sometimes though, you forget that you already have it all, but not often… so that’s still okay.

Your life’s journey is largely full of bumps and self-discovery. Lucky for you, you’ve always been surrounded with special people who strangely always catch you when you need them. If you want to count your lucky stars, just look around you – even if these “stars” sometimes say things to discourage you and make you lose your way. They are not trying to get you down, but they do anyway. It’s still okay because you always find a way to pick yourself up.

There are so many things you’ll end up doing that you could’ve never imagined now. School’s actually not half bad (you actually do make it to University… SURPRISE!) and you’ll be gainfully employed for a long time after you graduate. Work won’t be hard because you’ll love all the jobs you land and surprisingly, all your colleagues. I won’t spoil it for you now but you do end up finding your dream job – you can’t imagine what it is because it doesn’t exist in the entire country just yet.

It’ll take another half your life (and a little more) before you finally meet your life partner – partly because you’re really picky and you refuse to settle for just anyone. Along the way, every other person you meet and date will help shape your thoughts, beliefs and resolve even if they inadvertently break your heart. And at the end, you’ll outdo your expectations – he’s awesome! Yes you’re still fat but what’s great is, he doesn’t care. This person encompasses all the attributes you hold dear but you’ll be surprised if I tell you where he lives and what he’s doing now (you haven’t heard of D&D yet) – look out for something called the Internet.

Life is awesome even though it isn’t perfect. It’ll be a constant battle to love yourself but at least you’ll ALWAYS have hot showers, a cosy bed, great music and nice clothes (okay you actually wear quite shitty clothes till your late 20s when you stop being conscious about hiding your fats).

Love,

You


6 Comments

Welcome to America

I’ve been here just over 3 months and I’m feeling really home sick. I know that some people take longer vacations than this but I think I came somewhat unprepared for all this. T and I got engaged in early April this year and quickly decided that being apart was something that was going to be really hard to do – emotionally and financially draining.

What was equally hard was to jump to the decision to leave my family and friends behind, and give up my dream job. I was in the perfect place, at the top of my game and making a great salary for what is not even work to me. While I was leading a largely frivolous existence and have little savings, I am definitely not in debt and everything I have is mine.

Never thought I wanted to leave Singapore, never ever expected to marry someone who’s from a completely different culture half-way round the world, never expected to have to give up so many important things all at once.

But the sacrifices you make are just part of the journey… It’s a give and take. Now, T takes care of me by sorting out the 10, 000-item long list of stuff we need to submit and go through in order to convert my tourist visa to permanent residency. I’m not kidding.

We have to prove that we’re in a legitimate relationship (affidavits from friends and family, photos, joint bank account etc), that I’m a decent person they want in this country (no criminal records in the US or Singapore) and that he’s able to support me (T’s income tax, letter from employers etc).

While he’s doing most of the work for this and I understand why it’s important to be so thorough, I’m still exasperated at the tedious and lengthy process. Just give me some papers so that I can work and you can make tax money off me already! I’m going to be beneficial to your economy! If not, let me know now so that I can go back to my wonderful life and job in Singapore, take my husband with me and start our family there. I’m 35 going on 36 and we want to start a family soon. It might be a stretch, but we definitely don’t want to be in a situation where I’m pregnant, broke (I’ve basically been on a 3 month long holiday with no income in the foreseeable future) and deported!

So yeah, my immigration woes have begun but we’ve been married just over a month and things are better than I imagined. I reactivated my long-forgotten OKCupid account yesterday to delete it completely and I re-read my profile just to see what I was thinking then. Realising now that I have practically everything I was looking for and more, I just want to say online dating works (but be careful), true love waits and all those other cliches apply now.


12 Comments

Fat-shionista #508

20131104-113348.jpg

Here’s a what I wore on my wedding day post. Not what I wore today, of course. This is a post long time coming. Firstly, I haven’t done an outfit post in a while, and secondly, I’ve been married for about 2 weeks.

So I didn’t wear a white wedding gown… I don’t like white, anyway. White is so difficult to move around in because you’re always afraid of getting stains here and there. Also, we did go to a Mexican restaurant after the wedding ceremony! If you know me, I was never going to be one of those brides all spanx-ed up and corsetted to look 5kgs slimmer. I don’t even get why brides order such delicious foods at their weddings but are unable to eat them. It’s my wedding and I’ll not only look the way I want, I will feel great and be deliriously happy. I WILL EAT, DRINK AND BE MARRIED!20131104-113748.jpgAnd seriously, nobody expects that someone who ran away to the US to marry an ang mo she met online, in Vegas, would have a traditional wedding to begin with, right? Those fluffy white gowns are difficult to manouver in! No trains, bustiers and weird bits that require another person to fasten or fuss about, not for this bride.

T and I didn’t have or need the luxury of an entire year (which seems like the norm) to plan our wedding. We decided we wanted to be together and we wanted to be married so that we could legally live together. And that’s that. It was definitely an occasion to celebrate. So eat some cake in our honour if you wish, make it red velvet. I’m just glad my mother didn’t kick up a big dramatic fuss with this (then again, she has another opportunity coming up to put together the wedding she wants and we did tell her we’d wear whatever she wants us to).20131104-113541.jpgSo anyway, I went for a tried and tested look within my budget, and this is what I wore for my wedding in Vegas:

Dress: Blue floral “Vintage Elizabeth” tea dress from SOHOMODE (not custom, I bought one that I liked that was on sale and got it altered to fit)

Accessories: Faux Pearls and Bright Gold Tone Vintage flowers & leaves necklace from SWHALLON JEWELRY DESIGNS on etsy; Mint floral crown with russian veil from DRESS.DANCE.SING.LOVE.LIVE. Store on etsy

Bottom: Peach Meringue petticoat from DOMINO DOLLHOUSE

Footwear: Burgundy sueded platform wedge pumps with bow from HAILEY JEANS CO (on AMAZON)

I also wore 2 bracelets – one was a bronze vintage looking gift from T’s stepmom and another was a pearl bracelet which T’s Aunt loaned me as my “something borrowed”.

I did my own hair and make-up. I think a little enhancement is necessary but I find women who look drastically different in their wedding pictures, kinda disturbing. I like how I look when I am all put together on an average day and so does T. That’s all that matters, you know? What T sees, is what he gets. It’s all real, hunny! No fake eyelashes either!

What do you think? I reckon I did pretty well for a fat bride at 35 on a budget.

20131104-113706.jpg

And special thanks to my Father-in-law for taking these photos!


24 Comments

Oh by the way, I got married

20131029-035341.jpgOh hey… Guess what? I got married last Saturday. In Vegas, of course. By Darth Vader, no less. These pixellated photos are courtesy of screen captures from the LIVE STREAM. We didn’t have both our mothers in attendance and I also wanted to share the occasion with my close friends back in Singapore, so we had a video broadcast of the event!

Yes! We finally did it and this means, no more long distance. Hopefully, we will never ever have to spend a night apart again (okay, not for months at a stretch, I mean).

It was a small ceremony held at Viva Las Vegas, that hopefully is indicative of our lives together henceforth – there was some planning (we both wanted something that spoke to our geek sides), some budgeting (everything including BOTH our clothes, shoes, accessories, the rental of the chapel, photographer, minister’s fee, marriage license etc was under $2000), some frivolous fun, lots of laughter and always inclusive of our friends and families no matter where they are.

It still feels surreal.

Before the actual wedding, we had to get our marriage license. Easy peasy! USD60 as well as a valid passport or photo ID that displays your full name and date of birth is all it takes. The Clark County Marriage Bureau operates 365 days a year from 8am to midnight every day and when we were there, I observed people from all over, not just US citizens. All kinds of people come here to get married in the Wedding Capital of the World, many spontaneously and some were already in their wedding clothes – straight after getting their marriage licence, they would head to a chapel (there are dozens nearby) to be married!

Less than a year ago when T said he was going to marry me, I basically laughed and said “We’ll see about that…”, and now we’re here. I think my mother loved T more than any other guy I’ve brought home, because you know… he’s just so decent and proper, and was only too happy to let me do this (with just a hint of being scandalized because I didn’t do the proper “handover” aka Chinese tea ceremony before I ran away to get married to an Ang Mo in a foreign country). But that’s that and we’re going to try get it sorted out soon so my family’s honour can be restored… *koffkoff*

So hello everyone! This is it! I’m the new Mrs T Happ!

And if you want to bless our home with a gift or two… here’s our Amazon Wedding Gift Registry or scoot over there for some stalking and see what kind of people we are. HAHA!

20131029-035450.jpg